Tryst with Linux and other Alternatives

Yes, I read the original list here. And as most lists are, it included somethings it shouldn’t have, and missed somethings it shouldn’t have. So, anyway, here’s my list (and perhaps my exaggerated confessional!) based/built on the earlier list.

When you install Linux (10-1)

10) You will not lose all your athletic abilities, rather you will get quite good in speed-typing and could even qualify for the regionals.

09) Your reading literature will drastically change. No more People/Hello/Filmfare, only OSNews, Slashdot, Wired. As a result, you will know less about what’s happening to Anjelina Jolie’s adopted children from Africa/India and more about what’s happening to Linus Trovalds, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs!

08) Yes, you will eventually sell all your hardware because you are righteously angry that none of the workarounds to make them work on Linux are supported by the Free Software Foundation (FSF). But then as you go to buy the latest hardware you will see that you will STILL need some proprietary software/drivers/workarounds after all. But by then you will get off the ideological high-horse and install the new hardware with proprietary stuff anyway, because at least your wife is letting you upgrade your computer!

07) You will write more! Much more. Especially in blogs like this one, in the hope that you will spread the Linux love. And there will be plenty of encouragement because people will read the drivel you write! And no, you will not write “Bill Gates is the devil” nonsense, because it is stereotypical, passe and crass. Instead, you will adopt cool jingoism that shows how clever you are… like saying micro$oft, and instead of saying “let’s google it” you will now say, “let’s distrowatch it” Yeah! How cool are we!

06) You will do your best to convince the world that Linux is free, user-friendly and compatible. You will wax eloquent about open-source philosophy, free-speech and peace on earth. But as you continue in the Linux world, you will also get to know bitorrent technology, and will discover a new world of internet piracy that lets you download cool Windows-based programs for free! You will justify this by saying that micro$oft has enough money anyway, forgetting that some simple people like you are probably working on the software that you just ripped off!

05) When your multimedia codecs (etc) don’t work in Linux, you will rant against proprietary drivers and corporate law. Ultimately, though you will get the darn movie (file) to work on Linux and feel really proud of it! But you will also realise that you took 10 times longer to get stuff done than you would have if you had stuck to Windows (of course you will convince yourself that this is time well invested, things will improve, things will improve!!!)

04) Yes you will try-out a gazillion linux distributions, while you dis all Windows from 95 to Vista! Of course you will begin ranting against Windows in your brand new Linux. Then you will dual boot and do some work in windows and some in Linux. And oftentimes, when things don’t go too well… you will continue to rave about Linux and rant against Windows, in Windows!!!

03) You will get popular for a minute (not 15) and then geek out of this stratosphere. You will become The social misfit, That Linux-guy, and the person people will remember as “yes I knew him, but wish I didn’t”

02) while you become a champion of the poor and opensource community, arguing for cheaper software costs, your electricity bill will jump, your internet download bill will go up, and you will increase medication for eye-strain and headaches!

01) And after two years with Linux you will look back at a list like this, and say, “wow, it was worth it!” And continue your Linux journey!